Week 6 – Results

<<< This week the Apprentices are seen doing what they do best: defying common-sense to such a level that you may be mistaken in thinking that Amstrad are using the program to debut their new line of robots made out of some PRETTY OLD stock.>>>

 

OK, in a confusing manipulation of the constitution this week the teams are all change.  This means there have been some dramatic changes in scores as Luke’s Lunkers leap ahead points wise.  Instead of trudging through some kind of explanation all will let the colour code for the graph do the talking.

Black  = You’ve been fired you idiot-hole

Yellow = You’re the MVP.

Blue = You’re just an average Joe player.

Grey = You’ve jumped ship, turncoat.

v.2 = You’re new to the team.

Week 5 – Results

This week’s task was successfully won disappointingly inevitably by the far superior team.  Superior however in this case is a relative value judgement based purely on the fact that the losing team was comprised of two loud-mouthed idiots plus three professional flakes.

The BBC website quotes “The candidates are showing a surprising flair for music…”.  If there wasn’t already such a backlog I would demand some kind of public inquiry.

Here are some numbers which look like pictures:

Week 4 – Results

Is Ben a time-traveller from America circa 1955?  He seems to have some rather outmoded views on gender roles.

Statistical Non-Verbal Figures -

Week 3 – Results

This week the Apprentices foray into the gymnasium.  One team does okay.  The other team does so badly that it makes you wonder if they actually have the right to call themselves humans.

Apprentice Fact #2:   Siralan’s aides Nick and Margaret first met on a cruise of the North West Coast of Puerto Rico.  Co-incidentally their respective partners both knew the Captain of the cruise ship who happened to be Siralan’s cousin Tabitha.  Over a dinner of fish fingers and chips, at the Captain’s Table, Margaret and Nick really hit it off.

darta pictures – - -

Week 2 – Results

This week Rocky Andrews is the second victim of the board room face off.  To be honest, I don’t think Rocky was ever going to hold his own in there.   He certainly didn’t seem optimistic when I managed to grab a few words with him minutes before he was due in the board room…

Rocky: I can’t do it.
Fantasy Apprentice: What?
Rocky: I can’t beat him.
Fantasy Apprentice: Sir Alan?
Rocky: Yeah. I been out there walkin’ around, thinkin’. I mean, who am I kiddin’? I ain’t even in the guy’s league.
Fantasy Apprentice: What are you gonna do?
Rocky: I don’t know.
Fantasy Apprentice: You worked so hard.
Rocky: Yeah, that don’t matter. ‘Cause I was nobody before.
Fantasy Apprentice: Don’t say that.
Rocky: Ah come on, dude, it’s true. I was nobody. But that don’t matter either, you know? ‘Cause I was thinkin’, it really don’t matter if I lose this fight. It really don’t matter if this guy opens my head, either. ‘Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobodies ever gone the distance with Sir Alan, and if I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I’m still standin’, I’m gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren’t just another bum from the neighborhood.

Images which correlate to point based goings on:

Week 1 – Results

Goodbye Anita.

yeah we are like totally on budget, although i’m not sure if 200 pounds worth of cleaning equipment is quite enough for one days work.  i thought you only needed a bucket and sponge to clean a car, but i’ve seen all this great stuff now which has come out of this van thing and i really think we should use all of it because it’s like totally here and that.  oh yeah, i’m like, totally a lawyer.

Graphical Representations of some things:

Week 0

Welcome to Fantasy Apprentice.

Three teams duke it out on a weekly basis.  Keep your eyes peeled for score updates.

Apprentice Fact #1:  Did you know Sir Alan’s middle name is Muscovado?